The funny thing about Common sense is that it's not very common

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense

Next week there can't be any crisis. My schedule is full already

War does not determine who is right... but who is left

If you are drinking to forget, pay in advance

If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing

In the event of an emergency landing why do the people in the pamflet look so calm?

I can't wait to see how you look when I'm naked

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left

3 words to ruin a guys ego..is it in??

You can better lose a lover than love a loser

I'm only crazy when other people cant standthat I'm right

Women/Men are like public toilets, they are either taken or full of shit

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one

Work harder: People on welfare depend on you

All good boys and girls will go to heaven thats y i wasnt invited.