Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people

Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

When cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose?

Gravity always wins

The easiest way to avoid a hangover is to just stay drunk

There are some that are wise and others that are otherwise

I'm not an alcoholic. I am a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings

Buy land, they have quit making it!

Don't judge a man by his boxers, it's what's inside that counts

I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it

Eat healthy, exercise more, still die

Politicians prefer unarmed peasants

Time is what keeps things from happening all at once

Women/Men who seek to be equal with men/women lack ambition

What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?

Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up too..

Opinions are like assholes... Everyone's got one, and they stink

Sometimes I wish I were you, just so I could be friends with me